And To Let Go
One of the hardest lessons that life teaches us is letting go.
Why is it hard for us to let go? Really?
In my previous group session, I listened to people having a hard time letting go of a love lost for one reason or another. Some, tho, heart broken were able to flow along with the mundane task of living while the others had chosen the path of self-destruction. Whichever path they had chosen one thing was certain, both groups were hurting and trying to cope with the lost they experienced the best they know how.
I asked them why it was hard for them to let go. The three top answers that I got were:
- I can’t live without him/her. He/she is my life.
- I love him/her too much.
- I gave my life to him/her for so many years.
Then, a taciturn teenage boy, around 16 years, caught my attention. His head was downcast and never joined the group dynamics for almost an hour.
I asked him why he was here.
I asked him again how does he cope with the lost he was feeling?
I was ready to let him be when he lifted his head and looked at me with his round black orbs and spoke.
“Actually,” He began. “I am ready to let go. I’ve accepted that she doesn’t love me anymore. She had moved on and found someone else. And, I do not have any ill-feelings towards her.” He paused. Tears began falling from his eyes as he continued to speak. “What I really want to know is how I can learn to live with myself when I’ve forgotten how to be just me?”
Almost everyone in the circle was moved to tears by what he said.
Silence fell on the group.
Going back home, I was thinking of this young lad and what he said.
The simplicity of his question carries a gain of truth why some of us, perhaps, are having a hard time letting go.